9.8.09

Fine.

Everything is Great!
That whole Grace thing was silly.
We both needed sobriety.
I had my sobriety.

By the way,
Sobriety.
Was
My.
Death.

I was constantly dehydrated.
Nooooooo spit in my mouuuuth.
Waking up,
Oh my shit.
My intestines turned to astronaut ice cream.
Dried.
Shriveled.
Need water.
I had to bring four water bottles to bed.
To last me through the night.

I went to a part with Grace and Angel and Shelby.
And some other people...

And I have a secret!
I like this boy.
And I'm saying nothing else because no one can know who.

I haven't liked anyone for...
ever.

Since I was engaged.
So, this is exciting.

But, I feel like shit about it.
This creates in insecurity that
I'm not comfortable with.

I do not like feeling confused about this boy.
And I'm going to force myself not to care.

I'm going to make myself stop liking him.
Liking someone scares me too much.

Everything that surrounds such a subject,
has been ruined.
I have ruined it for myself.

I think I'll be alone.
I think I'll force myself to be alone.

But I do like this boyyyyyyy.......

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