1.8.09

GoodByeForRightNow.

I have another secret
I'm going to leave Grace.




For a little.

She doesn't care about anyone but herself.
She was crying because Angel was upset with her.

She said she didn't deserve it.
That she's a good person.


And, I admit to myself I'm not too good of a person right now.
I don't give back.
I don't do anything for anyone else, really.

But she does not realize that.
About herself.

We haven't really been friends for a while.
I use her for complany,
and,
well,
I care about her.

And she uses me for someone who makes things that she does okay.
I'm someone to talk to when the boyfriend won't talk to her.
Then, I exist.
I'm someone to go through prostitution with.
Again.

But, I don't like this life anymore.
It's dirty.

She constantly needs socialization.
Alcohol.
Acceptance.

She always needs some guy infatuated with her.
Someone that tells her she's better than other people.
So that she can believe it.

Her life has become her.
I don't know how to explain it.

Her needs are above others.
Her problems.
Her worries.

They beat up and robbed these guys we're kind of friends with,
and Grace turned her back on them and joined.

Now, no one's in trouble, except the Police are calling my house.

Because they only know where I live.
And I did nothing.

That was dirty.
I don't belive in just fucking people over because you're selfish and want something.
That was ghetto.
Drug addict.

We got in a car crash.
Everyone was mad I went to the hospital.
I called her from the hospital, and she just asked why I did that.
I tried not to go.....
I told them not to take me....

She only calls me, asking where AJ's I.D is.
She won't make an effort to give me my stuff back.

I just want my stuff, and I don't want to be a part of it.

I told her she was a rock, and she liked that, but it's a hideous thing.

I don't care if I'm alone for a while.
Being around her always pisses me off now.
I don't like who she is, anymore.

I'm going sober until I'm back to normal.

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