15.11.09

Sipping on Gin and Tea.

Everything.
Different.
Melissa is my absolute.
Best friend.
I have always felt so good around her.
And i have never felt so cared about.

I have been smoking a lot of pot.
I miss Cocaine, though.
I shouldn't.


This boy, and I had a staring contest.
Over and over.
At a party.

He wanted to kiss me.


I have been thinking.
I want that boy.
Who.
I gave my secret to.

I am not afraid.




I have also realized.
That I am a sex addict.

But I am controlling myself well.
Fuck.

And.
I have realized.
That I really just like men.

In suits.
In their thirties.
Like American Beauty.
I want him.

I want to make a man feel young again.
From his monotonous life.
And his stupid, pointless, draining job.
I want to give him something to look forward to.
And that will be me.

I am attracted to men.

How huge they are.
Their chests are so wide.
I like the age on their face.

I will be 18 soon.


I am going to do it.

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