22.8.10

He keeps telling me all week before we go.
"You know, this is totally going to be a bro thing."
And, duh, I know.
I know bro things.
Trust me, man.

I meet Tom for the first time.
And I'm usually bad at first impressions.
But when there's Whiskey.
And a long car ride to Vegas.
I get over myself pretty quickly.
And start talking all my stupid shit without bother.
And I think I could tell he appreciated it at the party.
That I was acting normal.
And that I wasn't being the weird girlfriend, or whatever.

I haven't eaten anything but fruit for over a week.
And I ate in Reno, But I threw up over and over and over.
Before that, I hadn't eaten anything but fruit in another week.
I'm just not hungry.
I take two sips of beer,
And I can't put anything else in me.

I have three shots.
And I'm fucking wasted.
My vision is wasted.
My mind is wasted.
And my tongue is tricky.

Fuck it,
I have a tight leather jacket on.


We get in,
And go to god damned Vegassssssss MOTHER FUCKER.

In honour of Lucas.
It was me, Bry, Lucas,........Franco, and Tom.
I'm glad Franco came.
Because he got all the shit.
And I knew if he didn't come,
I'd be the one taking it.
hehehehhehehehheheheh.
Betch.

We start our drive with AC/DC.
Right when we hit the highway, TNT.
And I'm drunk.
And when I have Whiskey and AC/DC touching me at the same time.
I don't know, man.

Every time I get in a car.
I always prepare myself to be okay to die.
We start the trip, 
And I announce my accepted death.

I spent the whole ride laying with him.
Heh.

I like his friends.
They know how to hang out with a couple, if that makes sense.
Because sometimes, there's the girlfriend who's just a girlfriend.
But I would prefer to be....I don't know.
Just relaxed.
And involved.

We get there around nine in the morning.
It is so fucking hot.
And I hadn't eaten in a while.
I had some bread int he car.
Drunkenly.
But, dude,
We got it from the bakery JUST made.
If I'm going to fuck up with food.
It's going to be fresh bread from the bakery.
I was planning on eating with them all through Vegas.
But I couldn't do it.
And It pissed me off.
Because it makes it awkward.

......Is that really how you spell awkward?

Anyways,
It came in waves.
We walked around so much in the day.
I was fucked from the two sips of Whiskey.
And on empty.
Hahahha.
Past empty.
And it was that weak stomach tweak.
That makes you question your strength. 
And it came in waves.
But I didn't care about my body much.
I wanted to hang out in Vegas.
Yeah?

DUDE.
Went to the Hard Rock Cafe', or whatever.
And saw some crazy shit.
The Doors memorabilia.
Such as Morrison's doodles from high school.
And Led Zeppelin.
Ah.
Ahhhhh.

Snoop Dogg drums..... Peh.

And I realized.
I really don't like Bob Dylan much.
Sorry, world.
But the words are good, and all.
But it sounds too shitty for me to deal with it.

Oh.
Beatles.
Memorabilia.
Meow.

Okay, so we check in at the hotel.
And it's fucking cool.
A nice hotel.
A nice room.
A POOL.

Bryan spreads out the Coke and Molly.
And I start freaking out.
It was there for too long.
Like,
I can deal with it around me for a couple minutes,
But I started fiending so bad.
It's like an anger.
And paranoia.
And anxiety.
And fear.

I went to the bathroom and took a shower/bath.
And I cried.
I don't know why.
But I just cry when I fiend.
It's like I'm out of control.
And I need it.
Sometimes, I believe I'm going to die if I don't get it.

But I calmed myself down.
And he could tell something was wrong.
But I knew it was just a dumb part of me.
So, I just repressed it.
Smoked some weed.
Had a good nap.

Panda calls me.
And I'm high and really exhausted.
And it's so fucking hot on the balcony.
But she was crying.
And I don't know how to explain how important that is.
And I felt really shitty.
I'm usually good at advice.
But I didn't know how to help her.
It was just so shitty.
I expected it to get better for her.
Because this shit always happens.
And then fades in her life.
But this was too much.
And I couldn't find a solution for her.
And I felt bad about being high.
And in Vegas.

We wake up.
And I put some make up on.
Which has been a while.
I'm just kind of in a Mascara Lipstick phase.

Get Lucas' ass up.
Pick on Franco until he buys papers.
Bitch.

And we start our drug flavoured journey to Wolfmother.
Lust.

We miss J Roddy Walston and the Business.
Fack.
But we get there.
Get in.
And fucking Tom gets caught up with my Coke tube.
And it was fucked, man.
Bry and I go on for the show.
Fucking Onnnnnnnnn.
And WOLFMOTHER COMES THE FUCK ON STAGE.
And I see Andrew.
And it was just.

I don't think I'm ever going to believe that happened.
It was beautiful there.
Poolside.
And, I guess the pool had sand in it.
And beds on the side.
And there was a bar with free water.
Thank god.

We get in the crowd.
I'm just jumping and banging.
Some buff guy in front of me decides ass to vagina with me was nice.
And some middle aged Indian decides that dick to ass with me was nice.
And then there's Bryan's arm around me somehow in the middle of it.
And I was just like what the fuck.
I want to enjoy a show.
People think about sex too much.
Such as I.
Anyway, I push them off.
A fight starts behind Bryan.
They get over it.
I pat the guy on the shoulder and tell him to enjoy the show.
We start head banging.
And then Moshing started up.
And it was so fucking cool.
I was in children's size 14 jeans.
Tight.
And it felt good to wear something that fit.
And my black converse.
Who are the only shoes who could ever love me so.
And moshing was something I feel like I had waited for.
It's just where you can fully experience your body reacting to the music.
And you enjoy it with everyone else.
It was quick before the security broke it up.
And that really bummed me.
Bry was sick a lot.
And kept leaving to vomit.

We catch with Franco.
And that kid is just ON.
OOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNN.

We walk around to scope the scene.
Franco was too cool for us, and left.
Ended up puking while head banging.
On some chicks leg.
Just bailed.
Heh.

I look over,
Some lesbian calls me over.
Turns out to be some Mexican boy.
Maybe Chilean.
Who cares.

Asks my name.
Tells me I'm very pretty.
And asks what I'm doing with "this guy"
And I just told him that I loved him.
Duh.

People are dumb.

We walk back around and some group of black guys swarm around and try to get a picture with me.
Bryan got upset for a second.

We lay on the bed.
And, it's like slow motion.
Tom comes out of nowhere.
And Bryan runs up and jumps on him.
And I was just like WHAAAT.
It was fucking great.
Lucas shows up, and I kiss him on the cheek.
And Franco shows up.
And it was just all of us, Man.
On drugs.
Wolfmother.
Pool side.

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH.

God damn.
God.
Damn.

After the show is over,
We just fuck around Vegas.
There were some really lost people.
And a lot of sloppy drunk girls.
And men who tried to smile at me while I was with Bryan.
That whole test.
To see if you can get the girlfriend to wink at you while she's with her guy.

It was the coolest thing ever.
Just a bunch of us loser teenagers.
In Vegas.
Fucked up.
Before Lucas goes to the Marines.
And It's kind of.
Sad.
That he's really going to be gone.
For so long.

It's fucking stupid.
Fucking.


Tom and I kind of ended up walking together a lot.
Drugenly talking.

Some lesbian tried to dance with me at Wolfmother.
Leg wrapped around my body.
Hah.
Fucking lesbians always do that shit.

We get to the hotel room, and I want a fucking stripper whore.
And Lucas is sleeping.
And I'm trying to buy him a whore.

I call the place.
It was weird being in the position of trying to buy one.
Rather than being one...
It was nice.
I kind of wanted them to come, I guess.
Because I feel like by being on the opposite side of the situation,
It would kind of balance out the fact I was ever in that situation.
Well,
And it would just be fucking fun.
And we were in Vegas.
And tits are fun, man.

I was going to throw down a lot of money.
But it was just a lot of money.
Got high.
Went to bed.

We wake up feeling straight up fine.
And I like waking up with him.
I like his face.

Garlic powder for breakfast.
HHEHEHBEIKJEBF:KJS:FKLBKLJDBF.
And we go on these fucking crazy rides.
Tom and I were about to bungee jumping.
Should have fucking done it.
On Cocaine and Molly.
Yes.

I was so scared on the rides, I was trembling.
Hahaha,
And my voice was just shaking.
I don't care.
It's fun to test your death.
Fuck it.
They get In and Out.
And we all stare at this chick with fake tits.
And then we fucking leave.
And it's so god damn hot.

We get to the Welcome to Vegas sign.
Prop up Franco,
Who slaps the Santa Cruz sticker on it.
Hehehe.
And get a couple pictures.

And we leave, god damnit.
We get to SC at one am.
TBones house.
And finish all of our booze.
And smoke a faaaaaaaaaaaat spliff.
I was fucked uppppp.
And, I guess I talked too much.
I hate when I go that.
It's like I just start talking, 
And in the middle of it,
I'm just like "Woah, what the hell am I talking about"
No recollection of why I started speaking.
Or what about.

We get hoooooommmmmmmme.
And Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
And we wake up today.
And it was nice.
He told me that he loved me.
And was really glad I came.
And that I could definitely hang with the boys.

Duh, man, I told you.

Vegas was Amazing.

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