26.11.10

Thanksgiving.
Ash came over.
Adam came over.
We got high.
And my mother smelled me.
I had my brother brush his teeth, chew gum, and wash his hands.
To save myself from insane punishment.
I just laughed.
I was high, and she was an angry Russian.
She tells me to apologize to Paul.
He lays there's on the couch and laughs at me.
Tells me not to tell my mother.
And we just laugh about what a sap Adam is.
Ash and I go to Oasis with a co-worker of hers.
A nice white boy.
Playing 107.9 radio.
Absolutely dreadful rap music.
I feel this energy.
Like I need to get out of this car.
With horrible music.
Who spent the night laughing at my jokes.
Oasis was packed for the first time ever.
White people and black men.
One wide black woman who was an entertaining dancer or my stoned mind.
Everything seemed like a joke.
The way the women danced like everyone wanted them.
Liquid courage.
They giggled like drunks.
Moved like drunks.
They wore literal club clothing.
And in my short dress, I found myself feeling classier.
You could tell what they were insecure about base on their clothing, make up, and body language.
Weak. All of them.
I see Amir.
I see Adam.
I don't acknowledge them.
Most horrible modern music made me laugh.
Bryan calls me.
And I tell him of my experience.
In the women's restroom.
Girls washing their hands as I speak of the humor I find in them.
I see Hayley.
I politely say hello and compliment her new hair colour.
She whispers to me that she does not like me.
I see the Persian that was in my car when I got the DUI.
He tells me he recognizes me from somewhere.
I am aware that I have certainly transformed my appearance.
I tell him that he knows me
And I smirk and walk along.
Ashley tells me to look to my left.
I see Arsham.
He sees me.
I laugh.
We spot Teo on the dance floor.
He looks the same.
They all do.
They all are.
He looks good.
He's Teo.
He comes over and stares at me.
With a smile of expectation.
As if it's supposed to be some passionate moment in time.
It is not.
Asks how I am.
Hugs me.
And it was obvious he was trying to make me feel like I've been missing him all along.
I have not.
He tries to kiss my neck.
I push him and I tell him no.
He tries to make me feel stupid about it, and I start to.
But I tell him that I cam not act like that with him.
He asks me to dance.
I tell him no.
He will not let go of my hand.
I pull, and he reaches again.
He whispers to Ashley.
Looks at me to find jealousy.
I simply play along with his demeanor.
Go ahead.
Try and have fun with her.
He tells me I look different.
I look good.
Asks if I'm still doing Oxy.
I tell him that I never do Oxy.
He asks why I look so clean.
Healthy.
I tell him I quit Cocaine.
He praises me.
Leaves.
The co-worker wants to leave.
We exit, and he tells me that Hayley spent the whole time talking poorly of me.
Says that he spaced out by the end, she was speaking so much.
Ashley adds that she told her that she does not like me because I slept with her fiancé.
But that was before I knew her.
And before he knew her.
And it's silly.
Because he is a horrible person.
He impregnated another woman, and with that knowledge, she continues to stay with him.
She is not a good person, either.
A liar.
Unfaithful.
Disloyal.
Whore.
We drive to his place.
Rap.
He brings a bottle of white zinfandel.
Some red wine.
And port.
All taste horrible.
The red wine was made with the skins.
We drive to my house.
I see Sasha with two boys.
I have him turn around and I get out.
Interrogate.
The boys stare at me.
They laugh at my jokes.
Agree with everything I say.
I know Sasha's once again built up an image for me.
We come and tell my mother good night.
She says that pot will take you to the grave.
I laugh and tell her it has not killed one soul.
And she knows she's silly about it.
We let this boy in.
Drink the wine.
He gets drunk.
I try.
I go to the restroom and chew a price of gum.
She asks if I threw up.
I show him my Jack Black face.
Very well appreciated.
Ashley plays rap and Russian techno.
I put on the Black Keys pandora.
Because of vomiting again,
I can feel the wine stay in my stomach.
Because I'm not digesting for shit right now.
He leaves eventually.
After laughing at what I say.
And eventually not being included in our girl talk.
He leaves.
Let's me keep the wine for a birthday present.
$100 bottle of port.
I give that and the Zinfandel to Ash.
Leftovers.
Fall asleep in my huge, plush, legendary bed.
Sasha climbs through the window with these friends.
I give them the red wine.
And glasses.
Go back to bed.
Wake up ten minutes before departure.
Miss the train.
Catch up with it in Berkeley.
Call Ashley.
She's still in my bed where I left her.
I climb onto the train.
Clean myself up.
Feel the wine in my stomach.
And here I am.
Listening to the Arctic Monkeys.
Five minutes from San Jose.
And I have to piss.

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