18.1.11

This just sucks.
This just.
Sucks.

People are inconsiderate. 

I want my computer to be my computer.
I don't want it to be the house computer.
I'm paying this off with my money.
And I don't want anyone else to break it.
Everyone breaks everything of mine.
I don't break my things.
Because they're mine.
But no one cares about my stuff.
Or my house.
And he can just go to his mom's when he doesn't like anything.
He can take him clothes and wash them there.
And I have to wash mine in the shitty ones.
But I buy the food that he eats.
And I buy the bed he sleeps on.
Oh no, wait.
It's my dad's money.
So all of my giving is worthless.
Because it's not really coming from me.


Everyone leaves everything out.
No one listens to what I say or ask for.
So I have to clean constantly.
And no one is grateful.
They can party and get drunk in my house.
And it's always clean when they come again.
But they don't see the effort.
No one sees my effort.
No one builds me up.

He's always putting me down.
And that makes me work harder. 
But I want to be complimented and validated.
And all my efforts are invisible.
And I am invisible.

No one does anything out of their way for me.
I feel like I'm just a slave for them.
I just fix everything they break.
And I leave them for two weeks.
And nothing is broken except my things.

And he doesn't even consider this my house because my dad is paying rent.
So, therefore, I shouldn't be offended that it is disrespected.
I am not respected.
And he is not thankful for me.

And I'm trying to get so much stuff together for is birthday.
And I hear he hates his birthday.
He is going to whine the whole time.
And I am going to feel worthless.
And once again.
He will not be thankful

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