20.2.11

I've been sick.
I want to be attractive and dress well again.
I have also decided to harden my heart.
I don't want to become a cold person.
I will become a chill person.
Slightly cool and slightly relaxed.
And I'm not going to need another human being.
No one is going to carry my soul in their pocket.
I am not afraid of loss.
I am prepared to lose the side of myself that searches for that kind of sunshine.
I'll carry my own sun.
Maybe there are people who see me like my friends do.
I bet some people may think I'm amazing.
And completely interesting.
And they don't make me feel worthless.
Or ashamed.
And I bet people will still like me even when I'm boring.
And when I've been shitty for a while.
I bet they'll still think I'm great.
And they won't make me feel bad about it.
I bet there are people who feel lucky to have me in their lives.
I bet they really do feel grateful for me.

AND I BET IT FEELS FUCKING NICE TO BE AROUND THEM.









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