23.10.12

I can't wait to receive what I have not received.

The last time was the first time.
I was fifteen.
And I forget his age, but he was much older.
Cody.
God, that fucking bastard does not deserve to be the last one to have done that to me.
And the first one.
I remember him.
So foolishly in love with me.
Calling and asking for me months after I was sent away.
I come back from the second session of brainwash behind bars.
And his eyes light up.
I remember being fucked like a god.
But he was no longer a god to me.

And I therefore threw him to the shits.
And partially destroyed him.
He married quickly after.

And I quickly did a lot of things after.
But I never let them touch me like that again.
Nonono.

After being with Bryan for a year,
I thought that it would be very nice.
And that he was finally the one who I felt comfortable with for such a thing.
But oh no, he didn't love me so.
He could never let go of the selfishness.
I'd choke and choke and choke.
Swimming in my spit for him.
Swallow and go to bed.


Nonono.
He didn't love me so.
No reciprocation inside of this flow.
But someone's about to give me head.
And I'm about to blow.



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