16.12.12

What is happening with Pian.
We've spent two nights together.
And I won't hook up with him.
But it's the hardest.
We have such sexual chemistry.
We're crazy fuckers.

We went to Kai's last night, 
And it was intimate but fun.
And me and Ian are such brothas.
I make friends with this hot chick.
And got her numba.
And Pian is being attacked by these two girls.
Heheheh, they've very nice and funny.
But man, they were so on him.
He said that they were touching his face!
Hehehheh, 
And I could tell that they were comparing themselves to me.
Because Pian and I came together.
But don't worry girls, take it all.
Pian and I do leave together, though.
And it turns out that he loves Freaks and Geeks!
WHAT.
It was quite nice....
We layed in tha Claud Bed.
And we smoked a bowl out of Oswald while we waited for Netflix to load.
And he had his arm down.
So I laid back on it.
And it was kind of boyfriendy.......
It has been confusing me.
Ever since that night on molly.
Our interactions have been.
So....sweet...?

We get along very well.
And I really like it because we're just brothas.
And so nothing is anxiety provoking.
But it was very boyfriendy.
And what.
I mean, it all feels nice.
But it's boyfriendy!!!!!
What.
And we watch the show, 
And I lay on him.
And we're smoking a bowl.
It was quite nice.
And it's jut pretty cool because I really love that show, I really do.
And I am trollymon and wanted to watch it.
And we go to sleep.
And he cuddles a lot of cuddles.
All through the night.
And it was quite nice.
And I don't let him do much.
But he touches me nicely.
And then roughly.
And then it's hard not to go insane, damnit.
I do go insane. 
Blue balls are eating me alive these past days.
This is the third morning denying a boy.
I just.
I deny Pian because the whole Bailey thing is so unstable.
And I don't want to do anything too wrong.
But I also.
I don't know.
I also feel like.
I don't know what it is, guys.
But I want to protect myself.
And I want myself for myself.
Or something.
I'm saying that because it's what may be true.
But I don't know!
I don't want to be exploited.

Last night, 
I don't know why, but
I felt like Ian could hear my mind!
It's probably not true.
It mustn't be.
But he reacted as I thought my thoughts.

Ian kisses me softly a lot.
Everywhere.
His kisses seem revealing.
You can never swoon that boy too much,
But I feel like he may like me.
Just because of the way he cuddles and kisses.
And I let him kiss my lips twice.
And it excited him a lot.
The way he touches me, 
I feel very flattered.
I'm not too attracted to him until he's in my bed with his shirt off.
And then how does he become so cute?
God damnit, what is going on.
He goes crazy in this Claud Bed.
I fight him off and fight him off.
But then I find myself screaming for a moment.
And my brain goes numb. 
The serotonin covers it like a blanket.
And I can't really think.
And I can't really control myself.
But my body starts swimming in the sheets.
And grinding.
And it's all such euphoria.
We physically communicate so well.
He grabs my hair.
He grabs my neck.
He holds my face.
And pets it.
And looks down at me.
And pets me.
And what is that.
It's quite nice.
But is it anything.
What is it.
He pets my hair when it's on his chest.
He rubs my neck and shoulders.
He gave me a massage.
Cuddling is so nice.
It's quite nice.
He cuddles like a babymon.
And I really didn't expect that out of him.
These interactions are quite boyfriendy.
But they're quite nice.
Misha comes, and I grab her to cuddle along.
And he's super stoked.
That teddymon.

What is all of this.
And Misha scratched my chest.
  

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