31.1.13

Bry called me last night.
On his birthday.
Our first one apart.
And he was very very sad.
And it slowly turned into him crying.
About how alone he is and hates it.
And how he hates sleeping alone.
And I cried with him because I feel it, too.

So sad, I wish that I was there for his birthday.
I told him that when I have a hard time sleeping,
I think back on our last night together.
And remember how comfortable it felt.
And I pretend I'm there.

It was 7:30 in the morning.

It's funny because I was anxious throughout the night.
That'd he'd be at a bar and just try and pick up chicks for his birthday.
But he called me instead.
It's also funny that he is having a hard time sleeping alone.
Because he never did when we were together but slept apart for a night or so.
And I would always be the one pining and aching for him.
And he would talk to me on the phone and say it's okay why am I upset.
But now he feels it, too.

He's always going to be here in me.
He'll always be living in my pocket.
I always feel like there's something missing.
And I know it's him.
Because I left some of myself with him back in California.
I'll always love him.
And it's always going to hurt to think of him with we're apart.
I'll always have this part that is pulling me away from where I am.
Trying to drag me back across the country.
To lay my head on his chest.

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