19.4.13

Also.
I don't know why.
But I feel like crying for the past four mornings I've awoken.

But I don't know why.
I feel as if my lucid dreams eat me alive sometimes.

They're almost never fully lucid to the point of full control and awareness.

It's as if I'm in a video game.
I get plopped into this world.
With it's rules and shit already panned and happening.
And then I have to lucidity to run around in it.
And control myself in the situation.
But I can't control the situation.
And my situations have been sad.
And the feeling of loneliness is extremely present.

Every morning I wake is another day to make plans.
I wish to have plans made.
School to go to.

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