6.4.13

I can listen to Mississippi John Hurt again.
And I think that's a sign of moving on for sure.
However, if I ever hear the Stanky Boot song, I'll die in one second. 

So last night.
Went to Marcos' art show.
It was great.
And the woman running it, she's beautiful and so nice.
And there were topless girl in black spandex shorts.
Painted and dancing.
Chaz and Curtis came and did projections.
Marcos kept asking if we were dating.
Because we were both wearing red black and white.
And I felt like last night we were flirting. 
In the most minimal way.
Just certain things.
Certain touchy things.
He watched me dance for a little while.
With this indian man.
Who I thought was gay.
I now do not think that he is gay.

I left and went to Drew's house.
And we watched Queen of Versailles.
And I was soooo stoned and tired.
And it was so depressing.
And then we watched Beavis and Butthead.
As we sat together,
He was just doing super minimal things.
Like sitting right next to me so that our arms are touching.
Or he put his knee over mine.
It felt nice.
But it was all that I could handle.
Just thinking about anything now.
Makes me very anxious.
I can't handle anything with anyone.
I have nothing inside of myself to offer.

He offered for me to sleep over because it was late and cold.
And I would have loved to.
So that I wouldn't have to go home at 4 am.
But I couldn't sleep there.
I'm not trying to give impressions that I don't have.
And he was already starting to get more comfortable and put his knee on mine.
Which I know is so jovial.
But it does tell me something, yes?

I think that one of my favourite things is that Drew is bad at telling stories.
Because I'm even worse.
And it's nice to be around someone who suffers tha same ailment.
I really like spending time with him.
And he's really just so nice.
But I'm empty.
The more I think of it, the emptier I am.

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