16.4.13

I had the most confusing of nights home.
I made so many mistakes
Waited for the bus when it doesn't come after 12.
But outside of it was the lucky brand store, and they were throwing away their huge polyester poster ads.
Soz I took 'em.
Went to the subway, missed the train.
Missed my transferring train.
Got on the wrong direction, anyway.
Missed duh train.
This man scared me when I was doodling on the walls.
But he gave me $10 for having rips in my tights.
I get on the subway, and when I get to the front of my house.
I see this huge black box.
I take it in the noisiest way possible that you could at 3 am.
And it's this old video equipment carrying box.
And it has a name and location on it's tag.
And I just started making art with these posters.
And gained pounds and pounds on super glue on my fingers.
And I smoke my spliff.
And I groove to my jamz.
And I go to sleep at 5:30.
And I dreamt that my little brother had died.
And when it happened, it didn't hit me.
Because I was soul less and working all the time.
But then one day on my dream.
It hit me, and it hurt so bad.
I ran around screaming my tears at the top of my lungs.
And everyone was so put off by me.
No one would help me or talk to me about it.
Not even my parents.
And it was the loneliest thing ever.
I was only by myself on this planet.
And he was gone.
And I couldn't accept that.
And I kept thinking we might meet on the other side.
But I realized that I don't necessarily believe that.
And I was alone screaming and crying.
And I woke up alone screaming and crying.
And I just can't control myself and these tears.
And I feel extremely alone.

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