6.5.13

I can not shake this feeling of loneliness.
Even Liza, Caylah, Jen.
I feel unthought of.
I mish to their homes to spend time together.
Caylah and Liza both have bicycles.
A five minute glide to my house.
Yet I am the one who walks to twenty minutes to theirs.
They are "afraid" to ride these bicycles.
Afraid to push their uncomfortable feelings to hang out.

And I've leaned on these friendships to feel safe here.
And not so alone.
As I try to make more friends.
But these people are in their own worlds.
That is fine.
I am in mine.
But I am so alone in mine.


It makes me feel offended.
And it makes me want to simply isolate.
And give up on friendships.


I feel like I always find myself in this spot.
Where I don't feel truly cared for.
And I assume that the rest of the world shares this.

But I'm putting in an effort.
Where the fuck is your fucking effort.

I feel as if I'm this.
Partially invisible creature.
Like a long exposure.
You can see the mass is there.
But you simply see right through it.
So as I walk around you, New York City,
You see me enough to walk around me.
But you never seem to see me.

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