28.7.13

I am becoming a bit worried of myself. Everyone is calling me asexual. 
And I just feel like. 
I am. 
And I know that it's a phase. 
But this phase is very long. 
And I am over it. 
And I know it's because of the repressed memories that came about.
And the acceptance of what else happened as something that really happened. 
And also the fact that the love that I had didn't love me so. 
And didn't want me so. 
And here I am. 
Used. 
Degraded. 
And squeezed dry from a long relationship. 
I am empty inside. 
I don't know anyone well enough to feel comfortable. 
It's not that I want Bryce here specifically. 
But I want the awesome situation that I had with Bryce. 
I am asexual. 
And everyone calls me that. 
And I don't want anyone. 

Last night, Sahara slept with Austin. 
And I was left with Zack. 
Who is such a nice boy.
And went to a weird program like me. 
And we smoked together.
But I left. 
I saw how the situation was going. 
But I am not such of a person. 
I am an empty person. 
A sexually soulless person. 

I just. 
Don't ever want to be disrespected or used again. 
And I know that's not reality. 
I will be. 
Because life is long. 
It's bound to happen again. 

But I'm not going to let that be the way that I re integrate. 
I want to. 
Receive what I deserve. 



I am alone with myself. 

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