21.9.13

I went through such an eating disorder night.
I am really disappointed in myself.
It has made me so tired and weak and conscious of my body. 
To be honest.
I smoked weed.
And it felt great to be stoned.
But my gluttony.
My gluttony is why I really can't smoke it.
It weighs me down so much.
I sadly.
Can not smoke weed.

Mika was at a party in my building last night.
He hit me up to come and hang.
But he almost immediately brought up my roof.
And spray painting on it.
And that was obvious.
I can always tell when someone is using me for my roof.
And I let him use the last of my spray paint.
He said he would hit me up about some parties tonight.
I hope he does because I would like to talk to his friend.
But at the same time.
I am so disappointed about being a starving child.
I must go to the gym.
After I finish my green tea.

I don't want to go back to that.
I felt strong when I was working out often.

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