15.2.14

What it is to perspire for 
The surreality you imagine. 
It is not the easiest
When you're too numb to cause happenin'

I think that it is once again,
I am disappointed in my emptiness. 

When can I feel some sort of pinch into my skin 
Men are swindled by seas of women,
And I am satisfied within. 

It is nice to have the power that comes with absence of vulnerability. 
Though with such a fact, I withdrawal from that form of letting one into me. 

To be ones' own, you become a victim to the ghost. 
It is wrong that I know the devil loves me most. 

I writhe in the actions that have done me wrong since six years old. 
Regains my purity, but the feelings still bring the wrinkles of the old. 

Strawberry lollipops that I hand you,
Thrown onto the floor. 
I force an apology
Written onto the wall. 
You surprised I'm a white girl 
And can still dance like so. 
The way that you grind
On someone you don't know. 
Intensifies the form in which 
You easily let go. 

I'm always surrounded. 
But always alone. 

To admit that maybe. 
I crave a bodied home. 

Maybe empty ghost. 
Don't want to be only bones 
But to never admit. 
Because then weakness becomes shown.  

I want to never. 
Crave the clever. 
Way another 
Body may make me better. 

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