21.4.14

Woke up from a horrible series of dreams.
I was sleeping in my old house that I grew up in.
And my dad came into my room and got into my bed.
I had a feeling that he was there for the wrong reason.
So I made myself fall off the bed.
And in my dream, I woke.
It was the heaviest feeling.
The haziest dizzy.
And I asked him what he's doing.
He was naked.
He told me that he had been touching himself.
And "Daddy really wants Mommy."
And I asked him Are you trying to have sex with me?
He got really uncomfortable.
And he was really drunk in my dream.
And overweight like he was when I was growing up.
And he went to my bedroom door.
I followed him.
And he had some naked drunken man friend there, waiting.
And I asked my dad Have you ever had sex with me before?
And he was shaking and just repeated my question.
And I said Have you ever touched me before.
And I could barely get these things out of my mouth.
It was hard to push out the words, they were like warbled whispers.
And he was just drunk and shaking.
And He tried to lie.
But in my dream, I knew I've always been wondering this.
And in the next dream,
I watched him and his girlfriend fuck for a second.
And we leave the house, and some cop is getting busted by another cop.
And I hear the cop say "the last thing I heard this cop say is that he takes a right any time he wants."
Which in my dream was some old school rule that cops had that was no longer valid.
And my dad was talking so much shit being so haughty about this bad cop.
And it was all such bullshit to me because he was worse.
And we're sitting in the car waiting for his girlfriend.
And he told me he had watched some really good lesbian porn.
And I said Oh yeah when.
He said yesterday.
It was some American Apparel girls.
And they were eating each other out super slow.
And I can't remember how else he described it.
But I said Cool.
I was just numbed and distant.
And kind of unfazed after the first dream.
And his girlfriend comes in.
And they just got back together.
And she was all happy and giddy and stupid and bimbo.
And I sat in the car.
And I knew everything.



Maybe it's just some Freud shit.
I've had dreams my whole life that my dad was trying to sleep with me.
I don't know why it happened now.
And I think it's weird that he looked and acted like he did when I was growing up.
I hope that it was just a weird dream.
And that my mind wasn't trying to tell me anything.

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