22.5.14

I feel like a bird perched.
I feel like I'm not present.
I am consumed by myself.
And the way that I feel.
I am dreaming of the future.
Nothing specifically, though.
I don't know I don't know.
I am putting so much care into social media.
And that always happens when I'm anxious.
Maybe I should cut ties with that.
No one will miss me if I'm overbearing.
I will lose my mystery.
And my social media presence is kind of odd.
I don't know.
I wish I could write away this fearful energy inside of myself.
What is it that I need.
I need youth, and I need alcohol.
I don't know.
I saw pictures of cocaine.
It's funny.
I was looking at what people were liking on Insta.
And it was Lissette.
She liked a picture of a bag of cocaine.
And it's a profile.
That just has pictures of cocaine.
And all the girls are following.
I feel like they started it or something.
They're in love with cocaine.
And it still affects me in Finland!
I've been having so many panic attacks over coke.
I don't think that's necessarily why I'm so nervous now.
But the more I indulge in my mind,
The more this acclimates.
I must escape myself.

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