23.7.14

I am the worst.
I told my mother how in debt I was with my credit card. 
And she just gave me $1,000 to start paying it off. 

I talked to my dad about getting a job. 
He says to let the people who need jobs get them. 
And that my job is to do well in school. 
I just feel so anxious in this expensive apartment in Manhattan. 
I just don't deserve it. 
I just feel useless. 

I feel lazy. 

When did I become this girl. 
I want to know how much money is in my family so that I can know whether my father is straining himself or not. 
We didn't grow up this way. 
I never knew we had money. 
I thought everyone else was more wealthy. 
I can see myself getting used to luxuries. 
What if it's all gone one day. 
And it's like a smack in that face. 
It's easier to become accustomed to riches than to famine. 

I have to make so much money when I'm older. 
I need to somehow become a successful artist.

How do I become a successful artist. 

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