7.8.14

040413

So I'm bloated off beer. 
And I'm not playing well. 
I'm slipping on these chords. 
And my voice doesn't have the normal control it does. 
Because she's filming me. 
That's okay. 
I've got quite the million things in my mind. 
And you know what, I would like to ignore all of them. 
All of them. 
And you know what I do. 
I smoke spliffs. 
And bloating off these beers. 
I can feel this little anxiety in me. 
I am wondering if I'll start having panic attacks again. 
I don't think they'll be like before. 
Nothing like that, right? 
I remember my anxiety attacks back when I was addicted to coke. 
I didn't understand them. 
I didn't know what they were. 
So as I had the panic attack, I searched my mind for the reason.
And I would think about all the things I could that may be the reason I feel so. 
I may start to, though. 
Every day is causing for one.
Every day is a bigger mess.
I'm trying to surround myself with the positive. 
I'm doing well with that. 
I need to make my art.
Go on adventures. 
I need friends who adventure. 
There are a few who may. 
I'm also gaining anxiety due to my problem. 
I feel like I'm trying so hard for control. 
But my body is getting used to it. 

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