10.12.14

It’s that I always got to be consuming
I think that my mind is too fast for my body,
So I need to compensate through some kind of constant motion that ends up like a white noise dulling my rapid thoughts down to something more stagnant. 
But what do you do
You’re either shoving something inside of a part of you, or you’re creating something with your body. 
I’m either smoking something, drinking something, eating something
Or panting, photographing, singing, dancing, writing.
I feel like we have two options when it comes to exerting our energy, and that is to either consume or release
Maybe I need to find more things to consume and more things to release.
There must be something missing if I always have this sense of…
Well maybe if I could define the sense first, I could then murder it.
It’s not dissatisfaction because I really feel like everything is going well.
It’s  
discontent?
Is there a god damn difference between the two?
It’s anxiety it’s anxiety that has no reason, and 
I always find myself running through the woods in my mind searching for reasons.
Diving down into traumatized depths and digging up graves with headstones that read Jo and Young Little.
Everything is fine.
Everything is fine.
Anxiety is the ailment of pure relaxation. 

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