14.4.17

I've been having anxiety for the past three days
It happens after coffee, so I'm blaming that
I had a panic attack in the bathroom
I melted on the floor
And my breath turned shallow and small

Men are so pathetically thirsty here

Worshiping 


Cashmere says small things
He called me yung cutie
And it really just made me die

They call me Russian goddess, I loathe it

Went downstairs just now and had another panic attack
They're this melting kind
Silent
Slow
Melting

Everything becomes bright
I have to hide my face and close my eyes

Cashmere wants to move in together
I like him all tha wei
We didn't talk for months
I don't know why he came back
Or why he wants to live with me
Or why he's talking about loving on me

How did it happen?
How does he know he wants to live with me.

I know that it seems like such a thing
To move back to Ny and just move in with a man
But I like him all tha wei
And I will devote myself to him as much as he allows me to

I feel like this is the biggest blessing and gift

But how did it happen

5.4.17

Nino's brother was found dead























My stomach is sick


Tears are instant 








































Of all people